I think I am a lesbian. At some point a bit ago something came up so I instinctually said, "I love lesbians." To which my sister asked, "Are you even attracted to men?" (Or something along those lines) For some reason that made me think. In the moment I replied, "In theory yeah, but they just all suck." Which we all (myself, my sister, and Zoro) nodded along with, because the dating pool in our town does indeed suck. But I thought about it some more. I haven't been attracted to a cisgender man (that I personally know in real life) since year 7-ish. There's been a few trans men, or at least that was how they identified at the time, but honestly I'm a hint T4T as well, so there's some flexibility there. Even then when I was attracted to those people in year 7 it was in a, "Yeah, he's cute," way whereas my attraction to women is where the phrase 'lesbianed to close to the sun' came from. There's a glaring distinction between my attraction to men and that of women.

On top of that there's a part of me that's always been considered 'culturally lesbian' if that makes sense. Naturally my presentation fluctuates, but as of right now I'd argue I'm pretty butch. Particularly this realisation will allow me to lean into that and so far, it has felt freeing. It kinda sucks that as a minor in some shitty small town there isn't much community connected to that but hey at least like the entirety of my mama's side of the family (except for my mama, her taste in men is awful) is queer. But yeah that's a realisation I've had, it's only a teeny tiny love letter, but one written with love nonetheless.